Dinosaur Comics

Wow Looks Like Someone Encased A Tiny Alive Person Entirely In Eggshell And Then Sat On That Person Until They Escaped: Parenthood For Dinosaurs 202

Thu, 20 Jun 2013 05:03:58 -0700


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only a few hours left to get the only body-based cartography shirt you'll ever need! :0
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June 20th, 2013: Have you watched my TEDxUofT talk? No? But what if I told you it was... on how to use time travel to become A GOD IN THE PAST?? One year ago today: other flawless idea: autoreply with "i will answer for $5", every time you get a positive response, reply with "the answer is now [$previousamount + $5], do you agree??] – Ryan

warning: this comic has partial swears in it. there is 50% of a swear, but 100% of the swearvowels. you can probably complete the swear in your mind's eye if you really want to.

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 05:17:08 -0700


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there is but one day left to get the only body-based cartography shirt you'll ever need! :0
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June 19th, 2013: A few weeks ago I went to TEDxUofT and did a talk! That video is now online, and you can watch it! If you have a few minutes to hear me talk about TIME TRAVEL ITSELF then boy howdy have I got news for you! One year ago today: a lab coat is all you need to do science, most scientists will deny it though because they only found this out after years of school and that education is what economists call a "sunk cost" – Ryan

today is the day we began... literally consuming culture

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 05:11:22 -0700


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two days left to get the only body-based cartography shirt you'll ever need!
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June 18th, 2013: A few weeks ago I went to TEDxUofT and did a talk! That video is now online, and you can watch it! If you have a few minutes to hear me talk about TIME TRAVEL ITSELF then boy howdy have I got news for you! One year ago today: .wtf – Ryan

hello future readers! you may know me as a combination skeleton/ghost, but when i wrote these words, my skeleton was hidden under a layer of HANDSOME MEAT. wait, where are you going

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 05:05:38 -0700


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June 17th, 2013: Don't you hate it when people stare at certain parts of your awesome body, instead of at the certain other parts you want them to stare at? Maybe they're just lost. It is a new shirt that I made for you! It is available only until Thursday! OH NO A DEADLINE One year ago today: sometimes i worry that jerks aren't even self-reflexive autopals – Ryan

what do women want? also where. and when. and how. and i guess why??

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 04:57:00 -0700


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MY FACE IS UP HERE: dang a special-edition shirt available only for 7 days! :o dinosaur comics returns monday!
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June 13th, 2013: Yesterday night I went to a nice dinner party where I knocked a rack of sticky ribs into my lap and then for dessert knocked a nice piece of pie into my lap, in case you were wondering what it's like to be an internet cartoonist / all around cool guy One year ago today: did I build this whole comic around the last line? perhaps, perhaps – Ryan

babies: people?

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 04:56:52 -0700


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June 12th, 2013: Yesterday night I got distracted by a cool empty building and biked straight into a construction barrier, in case you were wondering what it's like to be an internet cartoonist / all around cool guy One year ago today: in this comic, albert einstein was a dinosaur. if you compare this to reality, reality may come up wanting, and i sympathize. – Ryan

you die and go to heaven! and heads up: this is not a choose-your-own-adventure but more of a theological concern. okay HAVE FUN

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 05:00:10 -0700


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June 11th, 2013: Last night I saw Upstream Color and enjoyed it but did not figure it all out! But the best part about movies is talking about them with your friends so NO WORRIES. I will sell you a mug of the antidote. One year ago today: boy i sure hope you read other webcomics beyond my own – Ryan

sometimes ?butiwouldratherbereading=thelastdinosaurcomicever works TOO well and is also sad

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 05:13:48 -0700


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June 10th, 2013: Over the weekend I was given a bag of sausage and they were delicious when I cooked them the next morning. If you can ever discover circumstances where new people will give you a bag of raw sausage, I recommend you chase them down. One year ago today: you know that awesome book everyone suspects was ghost-written? i'm going to claim it here. I WAS THAT SPOOKY GHOST – Ryan

Dromiceiomimus, Dromiceiomimthem, Dromiceiomimjustmeplease

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 04:39:21 -0700


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dinosaur comics returns monday!
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June 6th, 2013: Guys what if I made a limited-edition shirt that was ENDING THIS WEEK that showed everyone you were really three kids trying to disguise themselves as an adult, what if that happened, what if that was happening RIGHT NOW?? WHAT IF INDEED One year ago today: next in the new series of "killer" YA novels – Ryan

seriously though do you guys want to cram some chocolate bars into ice cream because i am down??

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 04:37:44 -0700


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whoah! is that a special limited-edition shirt featuring three kids using your body to disguise themselves as an adult??
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June 5th, 2013: Guys what if I made a limited-edition shirt that showed you were really three kids trying to disguise themselves as an adult, what if that happened, what if that was happening RIGHT NOW?? WHAT IF INDEED One year ago today: The ghosts that bang pots are just trying to warn us to bring weapons when we die! – Ryan

party teen bovary

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 04:43:15 -0700


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whoah! is that a special limited-edition shirt featuring three kids using your body to disguise themselves as an adult??
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June 4th, 2013: Guys what if I made a limited-edition shirt that showed you were really three kids trying to disguise themselves as an adult, what if that happened, what if that was happening RIGHT NOW?? WHAT IF INDEED One year ago today: I GIVE YOU: the comic with the highest "fart" count per panel ever – Ryan

One Hundred THOUSAND Years Of Solitude

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 13:45:17 -0700


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whoah! is that a special limited-edition shirt featuring three kids wearing your body to disguise themselves as an adult??
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June 3rd, 2013: Panel 1 = SECRETS OF THE PUBLISHING PROFESSION?? One year ago today: are you impressed because i am writing a book and it already has over 360,007 characters in it – Ryan

yes i did research to get an accurate super mario brothers enemy count, yes i would not just throw numbers like these around willy-nilly

Fri, 31 May 2013 04:33:13 -0700


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dinosaur comics returns monday! :0
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May 30th, 2013: So in my quest for accuracy in this comic about talking dinosaurs, I needed to know how many enemies there actually are in Super Mario Brothers! I did what all dilettante researchers do these days: I asked Twitter. And Mark came through with this TMK page and enemy count table (scroll down to "enemy inventory"). The total is 552 enemies, but that's WITHOUT any that repeatedly spawn (Spinys, Bullets Bill, etc). So that's your impossible-to-reach minimum count, and I doubled it because I'm counting the Princess's "Second Quest" where the Goombas all turn into Buzzy Beetles, and that gives us our (conservative) total of 1104 evil exes in T-Rex's new game. A more accurate number may be obtained by doing a series of Monte Carlo experiments on the game. NOW YOU KNOW. One year ago today: if this 5% royalty share on gross is applied retroactively to all characters who match this generator then i am SET – Ryan

two words in, this was gonna be a comic about urban planning before i remembered i don't know much about urban planning

Wed, 29 May 2013 07:18:41 -0700


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May 29th, 2013: Yesterday in the TOP SECRET ARCHIVE TEXT I wondered if our last panel could be translated into German. Turns out there are few (all-awesome) ways! Here's the last word, and YES I know some of them run right off the page, that is part of their joy: From Isabel: Anf�ngerkinderkramgleichsetzungsnationalsprachenbesch�mungshauptwortverbindungsmangel (Beginner's-child's-stuff-equating-National-language-shaming-Noun-compound-Lack) From Johannes: Anf�ngerdummbabysprachanscheinssubstantivzusammensetzungsl�cke (Beginner-stupid-baby-language-genetive case of "appearance of the beforementioned"-noun-compound-gap) From Heather: Kompositar�ckst�ndigkei die unsere Sprache wie eine Anf�ngersprache f�r Dummkinder aussehen l�sst (compound-noun-gap-backstand (that stands towards the back, ie: is behind) that makes our language look like a beginner-language for stupid-children) From Christian: Unsere-sprache-wie-eine-anf�ngersprache-f�r-dumme-kleinkinder-aussehen-lassende zusammengesetzte-hauptw�rter-l�cke schlieszen From Patrick: NICHTKOMPOSITIONSL�CKEDIEUNSERESPRACHEWIEEINEANF�NGERSPRACHEF�RDUMMEBABIESAUSSEHENL�SST �BERWINDEN From Douglas: ZUSAMMENGESETZTESSUBSTANTIVKLUFTDASSUNSERESPRACHEWIEEINANF�NGERSPRACHEF�RDUMMBABY�HNELNMACHEN And bonus points for a Finnish translation from Atte: aloittelijatyperysvauvojenkielelt�n�ytt�v�ksitekij�yhdyssanapuute OF COURSE I have the best readers and OF COURSE a bunch of them are generous polyglots. And a few people let me know about "English disease", a pejorative name for "whitespace in compound words", which is what happens when speakers of big-word languages (like German and Dutch!) learn English and then start adding spaces in their words, sometimes changing the meaning of the words. People take it very seriously when these mistakes happen! (Thanks Max for those links!) One year ago today: "Three Of A Kind": A Full House spinoff where three of the main characters from that show live together in a somewhat less-full house – Ryan

i'm kinda really interested in how the last panel would be translated into german

Tue, 28 May 2013 04:37:36 -0700


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May 28th, 2013: Reminder that NOT ONLY will I sell you a stuffed T-Rex and stuffed Utahraptor, but that I will TOTALLY SAVE YOU MONEY if you buy them in a best-friends discount pack because HELLO, BEST FRIENDS One year ago today: t-rex's story egg-ceeded my minor egg-spectations – Ryan