TopatoCo

New Old Friends

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:39:11 -0700

Wowzers! This week we have two new additions to the TopatoCo family, both of whom you probably know unless your head has been in your butt for at least the past six years. Think of them as very old babies, like babies with wrinkles and knowledge, and you have to get off their lawn or they will start crying.

Sam Logan's Sam and Fuzzy has been droppin' e-comics on your cyberscope since before Iraq War II started! Sam and Fuzzy has been through some changes during the times, but it's all been good. And now you can get the stuff here!

And Jon Rosenberg's Goats has been around since before the year 2000 was invented! That was back when you had to look at the internet in those little booths that you had to put quarters in every fifteen minutes. Remember that? Anyway now you can get all of the famous Goats stuff here too, including the new major release Infinite Typewriters, the first of three for-real published books that will also be in real stores. But here at TopatoCo you can buy it without having to go to a store, because sometimes at stores there are awful people and kids running around everywhere and thugs and pick-pockets, and that kid with the bangs and the superiority complex. And you're like, "look kid. You might think you all that, but you ain't."

New Three Panel Soul Designs!

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 14:01:34 -0700

You guys like bunnies, right? Cute. You like angels too, right? Of course you do.

Now imagine the bunnies are RAPELLING down the side of your body and the angel is also a ROBOT.

That's the new Three Panel Soul shirts, go get them before somebody else does!

A Softer World - Overqualified Book Tour

Wed, 27 May 2009 14:45:49 -0700

NEWS! Joey Comeau and Emily Horne of A Softer World will be performing live here at TopatoCo this Saturday! Also at various other places on the Eastern part of the United States, see all the dates here.

Brandon Bird!

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 10:45:29 -0700

TopatoCo is so excited about our newest artist that we can barely stand up straight. Excuse us, whilst we remove to the fainting couch to complete this news-post.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your friends at TopatoCo have been enamored with the works of Mr. Brandon Bird ever since we first saw a picture Bea Arthur wrestling a dinosaur somewhere on the internet oh so long ago. And ever since we got this big ol' printer we've had a hankerin' to print a big old picture of Natalie Portman being totally freaked out by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

We don't want to waste another moment of your time; your time is better spent browsing our selection of Brandon Bird merchandise here! Or, if that's not enough, there's a whole lot more to see on his site!

Problem Sleuth Prints

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:23:06 -0700

You are probably still mourning Problem Sleuth being over. We understand. That's why you can now get commemorative prints to remind you of the glory of it all, for many years, until the tenuous grip you have on reality unravels completely, and from your motorized bed you stare at them, slack-jawed, trying to remember what clocks are for. You will treasure them. And now you can choose between our regular super-high quality semi-gloss photo paper OR fancy-schmancy fine art textured paper. Pretty cool. Pretty dang cool.

And also can nip that mourning right in the bud, because a new MS Paint Adventure has begun -- Homestuck!

<3 Jeffrey

Time Travel Essentials

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 15:06:13 -0700

If you're like us, you live in constant fear of slipping into a wormhole and getting spit out in the 13th century, and the only real useful knowledge you have for your ignorant ancestors is "watch out for that Hitler guy" and "some of the Popes are evil" (we're going to assume that you, like us, can't even remember who won the World Series last year). Now with this handy, sturdy tee-shirt and high-quality poster print you don't have to live in fear any longer. Sure this means that some of those bums like Copernicus and the Wright brothers will end up having to get real jobs, but it's gonna be your name in the history books, and that's what what matters.
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A companion guide for this shirt entitled I Am Not a Demon: How to Avoid Being Executed for Heresy is in the works..
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<3 Jeffrey

Exploding DOGGZ

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 13:42:11 -0700

Look how excited TopatoCo is to announce we're now offering Exploding Dog shirts and a book to our increasingly-bewildering inventory! You can't see it, but we're trembling with excitement. And we got goose bumps. And our pupils are dilated as far as they can go, and our hearts -- oh, our hearts are like hummingbirds! Corpulent, heaving hummingbirds that live in pitch black and stop at unpredictable, terrifying intervals. We salivate excitement, lying flat on our backs until the thunder stops.

We have been friends with old Sam Brown for years, and his shirts went away for a while, but we brought them back for you, because we care about you, because you're a good person, you know?

<3 Jeffrey

Edward Accidental Asphalt Shirt

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:52:31 -0700

Real quick, we got a batch of the Edward shirts in that are printed on ASPHALT shirts instead of the black like they were supposed to be. So we're getting rid of them for $14 until they are gone!

HYPER-LINK

If you are one of the few who told us you were cool with getting a grey one when you ordered a black one, and you're like "HEY WTF MAN U RIPPIN ME OFF?" Just let us know and we'll hook you with with GIFF CERTIFICATEZ.

<3 Jefrrey

Wolfman Rumblo's Swaggin' Wagon

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 10:18:33 -0700

We're adding new things faster than we can tell you about them! You've heard of this kid KC Green, right? He makes some pretty funny comics, that you can access through his internet web portal. Even if you've never heard of his stuff, you're probably seen old Dickbutt somewhere on internet. It is hard to contain these things.

Anyway he's got some extremely hilarious shirts and you should collect 'em all.

-Jeffrey

Fake Owls and Kicking You

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:18:50 -0700

Okay we are almost caught up now, two new pre-orders! The Magritte-inspired Treachery of Owls shirt has been ordered and should be here the first week of April. OWLS. What can be done about owls? For now we will just have to live with them.

Here is another shirt, for which you can have your pick of a selection of colors until OH SAY about the first of the month. On this shirt is Dr. McNinja, a man who is about to ruin your day, but only because you misspelled a word on your blog post.

Coming this week! More artists! More designs! More exclamation marks! Spell things right, this is the internet.

<3 Jeffrey

Palaeobet Print

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:37:24 -0700

If you're like us, you know practically NOTHING about prehistoric animals. But what happens when you start dating someone who is crazy into prehistoric animals, and you invite them to your place to fix them a meal? You don't want them to think you're stupid, do you? No. No you do not.

That's why you get this new print. You hang it up on your wall, and when they come over they'll be like "well I had no idea you were interested in the exact same thing I am, that is so great" and you blow it off like it's no big deal. And at this point they will be adequately comfortable to take a long sip of the drink you prepared hours earlier, and hopefully won't notice the slightly bitter taste of your "special ingredient."

This print was designed by Rosemary Mosco, whose delightful body of work can be gawked at over Bird and Moon dot com.

<3 etc Jeffrey

Think Positive

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 11:17:58 -0700

Jeph Jacques knows that when life gives you lemons, you sit there and stare angrily at the lemons until someone takes them away.

That's why he designed this shirt. When the day comes that you get bit by a crazy old zombie, and you feel that which was once you slowly slipping away, giving way to a dull, eternal ache -- a foggy existence in which shadows scream, where you are more thing than animal, because even animals have some semblance of self control -- you remember one thing. You're the best around. And nothing's ever gonna keep you down.

Soon All Your Clothes Will Have Kate Beaton Drawings On Them

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 12:14:51 -0700

Kate Beaton got a new website and you were happy. You wondered if it was possible to be happier.

Then she came out with three new things! One of them is about history (about a revolutionary wildman who was executed for treason) and the other is about a dumb old cat that is always in A Softer World. And there's a tote bag of the cat too!

And now you're worried about how happy you are because you're all twitchy. Don't worry, it'll go away by itself soon. But if need quick relief you just go look at Drudge Report for 10 seconds.

<3 etc Jeffrey

My Friends

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 09:11:40 -0700

Bad us, bad at updating the front page. Growing pains. Expect a flurry over the next few days, also a better front page, because this one is kinda dumb, on account of not being sure exactly what to click on, which is the point of a website so we are told. Anyway!

We'll start the barrage with the new Little Gamers shirts. One of them tells is like it is, and the other one tells it like it really is.

Expect more updates as we get to where we wanna be, bleary-eyed and flicking rubber bands off a rooftop at 3:30am on the Lower East Side.

<3 etc Jeffrey

New Bodha Te and Dresden Codak

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:13:07 -0800

There is so much new stuff at TopatoCo it is easier just to link to the page where you can see them all. New pre-orders from Bohda Te and a horrible/wonderful pun from Dresden Codak suitable for everyone who wants to make philosophy majors groan with delight.

Also we've almost got all of Questionable Content fully stocked. Hooray for progress!